Tim Monzon

Oftentimes Postsecret cards say the things that I can't

Not every secret has to be shameful.

I’ve been holding off trying to piece the words together for this article for a while now, but I feel that the longer I hold out on it, the more this frustration is going to gnaw at me. So here goes.

Life changes a lot more quickly than we’d like it to at times. On the same token, this life that we’re trying to live can be taken away from us at any time. This reality has continually been shown evident to me throughout this month. It first started with the death of Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart. The night before his fatal car accident, he had just pitched the game of his life. Being the Angels fan that I am, I went to the stadium to leave a card of condolence. I would be surprised to find that hundreds had gathered to pay the same respects.

But it didn’t end there. There was Courney Stewart, the driver of the car that Nick was in that night, and who was also killed. She happened to be in the same sorority as one of my good friends. Which means that there was a very good possibility that I’d met her before. But now, I’ll never get the chance to know for sure. It’s thoughts like these that suddenly make everything else seem trivial.

And the biggest shock of this month came to me in the form of a Myspace message from my friend Janelle:

“how r u?
well i’m sending you a message because
I saw your picture with EJ.. Elijah Nabua…
during the winter retreat last year. He was in your group right??I just want to tell you that he pass away about 2 weeks ago Friday, April 17 2009 because he was hit by a car while he was going to school.. he was walking in the middle of the street to go to his bus stop Thursday morning.

He was critically injured in the head/brain- internally- so if he did survive he would have been a vegetable.
They declared him dead Friday morning. His parents decided to donate his organs…. and one of their family friend matched his kidney…..so praise God for his life, others are living because of him.

His viewing was last friday- 24 and saturday- 25.
Sorry I was not able to tell you sooner.
I was quite busy helping the family with stuff.

His parents already talked and forgave the man who accidently hit him. His parents also prayed for the family and the man during a bible study.

Please continue to pray for them. Specially for his siblings, one younger sister and one younger brother.

Take care and God bless!

-Janelle Ugay– “

Elijah, or EJ as I had known him, was only 13 when i had met him last year. So he would’ve been 14 at most when he passed.

Let me bring you back to the weekend I met him. I was one of the group leaders for our church’s annual winter youth retreat. EJ was assigned to my group, and he was a special case for me. You see, some of my greatest joys have come from helping kids break out of their shells and become more social and outgoing. And EJ was shy, really shy. One of the most shy kids I’d ever had. As far as I knew, that was one of the main reasons he was assigned to my group, at least that’s what one of the core leaders had discussed with me.

I sat next to this kid every chance I got, I talked to him about the most random things, in hopes of finding that one common thread that would get him to talk. He was a tough one, he was. It was already hard for him to get to talk to other kids because he was new to the church, he hadn’t established any friendships yet. So I did my best to get him to smile, to laugh, something. He had to crack eventually, right?

So 24 hours go by, and nothing so far. Then I found it, outside in the snow. Our group had been practicing for a skit we were going to perform that night, when Jason, Bryan, and Derrick passed by our group, rolling a gigantic snowball. I mean, this thing was huge. It was probably at least 4 and a half feet in diameter, and they were having trouble trying to keep rolling it down the hill due to its weight. So the guys from our group decide to take a quick break to help. It took 7 of us to move this snowball barely 4 feet. In fact, we just happened to roll it just far enough to stop on a road. A road that was being driven by a truck coming our way. So we panicked, and tried our best to roll the snowball out of the way before the truck encountered it.

We failed. We couldn’t budge the thing. Fortunately for us, as well as the people driving the truck, their truck was huge. So they asked us if we wanted them to budge the snowball for us. We agreed. It would help move the snowball, and they’d get a free road to travel on. The driver applies a little gas, the snowball moves slightly. A little more gas, and the snowball starts angling off the road. We were victorious. And that’s when I heard it. EJ laughed. I hadn’t heard him laugh up until then. His arms were raised in victory, his face full of a beaming smile, and he laughed. I gave him a hug. We were making progress.

Later that night, we were finishing up an intense prayer and revival session. I saw EJ standing in this room of 60 or so people, and he was by himself, eyes closed. Everyone else had a prayer partner or two, but he was by himself, intensely focused on whatever it was he was praying about. So I walk up to him, put my arm around him, and prayed with him. I don’t know what he prayed about, because he was silent the whole time, until he opened his eyes and looked at me. I asked him how everything was, and he simply said everything was okay. I asked him if there’s anything he’d like prayer for. He asked me to pray about his shyness, how it was really hard for him to make friends at school because of it. He told me about how he felt very alone at times. So I hugged him and prayed with him. And while I prayed, he cried. And I cried with him.

After the retreat I never got a chance to see him again. His family lived in Norco, so it was too far for their family to be able to attend our church every week. But he was the kind of kid who’s hard to forget once they’ve been in your life. So when I got the news about his passing, I just didn’t know how to react. I spent the next 30 minutes in silence and in tears. I prayed for his family, his friends, for the man who had killed him. I prayed for forgiveness, for not putting enough effort to make sure I kept in touch with him, like I usually do with my groups after retreats. I only spent a weekend with EJ, and yet that was enough for him to influence my life in a positive way.

EJ's in the very back, right behind me. I always sat next to him.

To EJ, thank you for making an impact on my life. I’m glad that God is taking care of you now. I will miss you, but I will see you soon. Love, Tim.